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It’s been a terrible week. I had an in-person job interview with a company I’ve always wanted to work for after passing the first-round phone interview. Before the interview even begun, I informed my interviewers [2-part interview, 30 minutes each] that I did have a stutter so if they see me pause repeatedly or with my mouth open and no words coming out to just keep that in mind. Stutter aside, I felt as if I had a very successful interview and thoroughly impressed my interviewers. I was told to expect a final decision on my application by the end of the week. Today, a day following the interview, I receive an email stating that unfortunaly I had been rejected for the position but that they’d keep my application “on file” for the next 6 months. I’m not too certain about whether or not my stutter impacted my interview or not, but just knowing that will always be a detriment to any long-term success has been eating at me since I first stuttered, and this could be another example. I hate myself for it and I think it’s done a lot of damage to any potential friendships/relationships along the way. Sometimes I feel as if I’d have been better off to never have been born. I’ve just been down on my luck as of late and there’s really not much left for me to do. I’ve been wallowing in self-pity and overthinking every detail of, not just this job interview, but every moment in my life where my stutter has gotten in the way. I don’t have many friends and my family isn’t much of a comfort to me, so I’ve had to live my life in solitude and I’ve grown accustomed to living alone, but I’m tired of it. I’m tired of always feeling like a burden to others and wish I could just go away for good. Sorry if this was too long, I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.