Any other adult onset stutterers out there?
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Any other adult onset stutterers out there? I’m 55F and developed moderate to severe stuttering fairly abruptly about 5 months ago. The first couple of weeks it was infrequent enough to mostly ignore but I intended to talk to my doctor at my upcoming appointment the next month. But it gradually increased and then, BAM! One day I woke up with full blown stuttering that hasn’t gone away and possibly is continuing to worsen. I am already disabled due to bipolar 1 disorder, also a late-in-life diagnosis following decades of misdiagnosis and mismanagement. I do t know if there’s any direct correlation between the two disorders but there’s a high likelihood that the medications used to treat the bipolar may have caused the onset of stuttering. Medication induced stuttering is most often caused by atypical antipsychotic medications, anti epileptic medications and antidepressant medications (with Bupropion being a top contender and a fairly recently trialed medication on my long list of failed treatments). I’m told medication induced stuttering is a neurogenic form of stuttering and that having discontinued the medications most likely to be potential offenders, without any improvement, it’s unlikely to be reversible. MRI showed no stroke but other abnormalities that nobody will explain the meaning of. I’m pretty devastated. I’ve already lost a successful professional career due to the disabling symptoms of bipolar disorder and the disease itself has wrecked havoc on my life, home, financial security and family. My self esteem was in the toilet and bouts of depression were severe. I have a very rapid cycling, severe form of the illness with frequent bouts of mixed manic episodes with features of depression (ie: the worst of both worlds). I had begun to slowly come to terms with these losses and was trying to work through medication and therapy to adjust; finding some meaning in life through volunteer work at a community mental health center, but the stuttering is now limiting my ability to do even that. I used to teach classes but no one listens anymore. At the last board meeting, when I was asked to speak; people interrupted me, finished my sentences and talked right over me. I don’t want to go out in public for fear of meeting someone I used to know before I stuttered. I had always been. Fluent and highly articulate throughout my lifetime. Now it’s exhausting to attempt to converse for any length of time and apparently that’s partly due to a bunch of other physical behaviors I’ve rapidly developed in a subconscious effort to control my speech. Once in awhile I have streaks of fluency which I don’t understand and I never, ever stutter when I talk to my dog, which seems inexplicable, like somehow this is all in my head or I’m faking it ( as if anyone would want to do that???). I’ve been offered speech therapy at a recommended frequency of every 3 weeks for 12 weeks. Really? Four sessions??? That hardly seems adequate. Thanks for allowing me to share my story. If any at all has some encouragement or advise for me, I’d be grateful. I’d especially appreciate hearing from anyone who began stuttering as an adult. And why don’t I stutter to my dog?????🐶