I find the word “stutter” horrible and hate saying it

I find the word “stutter” horrible and hate saying it I’ve had a stutter for about 10 years now (17M) and when I started secondary (11-16 for US lads) school it got really bad for about 3 years, up to the point where I’d stop answering questions, this was made worse when a teacher mocked me for it, which wasn’t out of malicious intent but I was 11 so I didn’t like that very much. I used to go to speech therapy and that helped but it still gives me bad chest pains. However the worst part is when people say stutter or, less so, stammer. Idk why but I really hate the word, it sounds so ugly it really distresses me to the point I use disabled or impediment to describe it. Does anyone have the same problems and have an alternative name for it I can steal?