I just ran from my new job..

I just ran from my new job.. I just went home from my new job due to severe anxiety from my stuttering. It feels horrible but in a way relieving. Its a very speech demanding job in Psychiatry. I hate myself from doing this and I feel like im letting everyone around me down... I was so lucky to get this job and at the beginning it all went well even tho I stuttered alot but today I was going to work night shift and I have had anxiety all day, laying in my bed and imagining worst case scenarios. I feel like a total basket case right now. I told my colleagues that I was feeling sick and had to leave. I feel like I let myself down and everyone around me for being such a pu**y. :( Im on Paxil right now and it has helped in the past but not now. Im thinking of jumping on sedatives again but I hate that I must turn to those medications once again. My family cant even imagine the pain it is to have a stutter, they were so happy for me to get a job again as Ive been unemployed for 2 years.. I just had to ventilate to you guys. If I didnt have my son, I would just give up.