I totally understand your feelings. I have been there, not only because of stutter but because of many different things that have happened to me. But someone once told me that somethings just happen and there is no reason, no meaning, they just happen and that is just life. That just stuck to me. Somethings just happen. I could have been born in a family that accepts my sexuality, or I could have been born as a straight person, but I was not. It makes me angry, it does. Is there a reason why things are the way they are? Not really. It is just life. Being angry at God is a relief that lasts little time, I have done it for a long time. I prefer to see him as a friend who I can talk to, who I can pray to, who I can learn more about and maybe somethings will change with his help or maybe also not. That is just life. I believe in God. I do not believe in after life or that there is a right and wrong. I believe he is there and he is loving. And he will not give us anything we cannot handle. If you need someone to talk to I am always around.