If you really feel “if anything were to happen I’d accept it” then you should keep that same mindset and apply it to do the things you want. To clarify, you’re at a low so logically the only other way things can go is up. While you’re in this seated low vibration position use that mindset as an advantage to explore who you are as a person and what you want from this life because if anything were to happens you have to remind yourself that GOOD POSITIVE THINGS LAY WITHIN “ANYTHING” as well so things may be bad at the moment but there’s always a reversal that can happen at anytime. Anyways happy holidays.