I see a man of resolve and brevity in you. Don’t be disheartened. With this new age of technology, you can be anyone you want. Most jobs don’t need speaking roles anyway. Most centimilion dollar tech,ai, biotech startups are completely autonomous. I have lived with what you felt. And im in my 30s. Dont give up at 17, brother. Life will be better. Its much better with a “freak” like you than normal idiots.