1. You know all those daydreams and fantasies you have of being completely fluent, which makes you suddenly all suave and awesome, and then you ride off into the sunset on a dragon while perfectly reciting a David Foster Wallace quote or whatever? Let them go. They're not real. Accept them for what they are--fantasy. When you look into your future, see yourself as a stutterer. This is the likeliest reality. It might seem harsh, but you have to do it . I find so many stutterers are unable to let go of this 'fantasy' they have. It's not healthy to live in fantasy. Face your reality and then you can begin to shape your expectations around something actually attainable. Tell yourself that you will always be a stutterer. Forever. In time, that'll stop seeming so horrible. Because it isn't! 2. Know that letting go of those fantasies is not the end of the world! You don't need fluency to be a suave motherfucker. You just think you do, because it's that one thing out of your reach. If you were fluent, it'd be something else. I let go of those dreams and fantasies and I don't feel like I've lost a thing by doing it. Perspective is important. 3. Use your voice! How can you accept your voice if you never use it? Stutterers avoid talking and build up anxiety over the smallest interactions. It's a toxic cycle. *"I'm insecure because I stutter -> I stutter worse because I'm feeling anxiety -> I'm insecure because I stutter -> I stutter worse because I'm feeling anxiety -> I'm insecure because I stutter -> I stutter worse because I'm feeling anxiety...*" and on and on. Face down that fear. Stutter in front of people. Do it visibly. Do it often. It's the only way to realize your fears are mostly unfounded. Talk all that you can. Eventually you'll reach a point where you no longer feel that oppressive, heavy sense of dread at the thought of it. It's a new year. Make a resolution to power through one speech challenge that you'd otherwise avoid, every day. It doesn't need to be big. Maybe you just don't fall on substitution for one single word. These little victories* build confidence. 4. Stop seeing stuttering as a disease and start viewing it as just another characteristic. What color are your eyes? Imagine a stutter is just an eye color. It's not out to get you. It just is what it is. Try to see it as a part of your identity. It's a part of you, and a part of what makes you who you are. My stutter has shaped my whole life, sometimes for the worse, but also for the better. Try to remain aware of these things. 5. When you think to yourself, '[x] is one way in which my stutter has made my life worse' I want you to really ask yourself.... is it your stutter? Or is it your attitude, insecurity, or anxiety toward your stutter? Most often, it's not even the stutter that's to blame. Stuttering makes it difficult and often inconvenient for us to talk. That's all it does. It's easy to say, "I didn't go out tonight because I stutter." But that's untrue, and deep down we know it. Hold yourself accountable for your choices. 6. Understand that people don't care about you. I don't mean it in a bad way, necessarily. People are dealing with their own issues, they really don't give a crap about some person they met 3 years ago that took a few seconds to say their name. No one cares about our stutters as much as we do. Even if you mostly stopped caring, you'd still be in the lead. Trust me on that. 7. Finally--and this is something that I think every person needs to come to in their own time--know that it is more important to express yourself than to feel like you look cool. It just is, and most of us already know that. We just aren't weighing our priorities as well as we should. We're too hung up on #1. (\*The victory here is *expression*, not fluency.)