I go through the same thing in my life on an almost daily basis, I just recently quit my job with a well respected company due to having to make phone calls, In my mind, when i stuttered while i was on the phone, they thought of the company as a joke, or would hear them laugh when i got to a bump and have to have the awkward “im sorry i have a stutter” conversation. It truly holds me back from doing so many things in my life. I’m working on every day to not let it control me.