I totally understand what you’re saying. I feel like I stutter more when I am thinking about it or worrying about it. I’ve recently started to be more open about my stutter. When I began grad school, during one of our personal introductions in the class, I told everyone about my stutter. This was one of the first times I opened up to complete strangers about this. Before, I would just talk and worry that people would notice my stutter. It turned out that telling people about this made me feel so much more comfortable. Because I feel like they already know and they’re not judging me, when I talk to them I’m not even thinking about stuttering, and that makes me stutter less. Looking back now, I wish I did this a long time ago. I also like to think about it this way: everyone has their own shit and personal problems. It’s just that our shit is more visible (or audible). In the end, everyone is caught up with their own shit and no one really had the time or energy to focus on how we speak. I hope this helps!