Lucifer Morning Star. Are you by any chance LDS? I just left the church but remember referring to Lucifer as the son of The Morning Star. Now to your answer. I’ve written my story before on the r/stutter site. Maybe you can try my screen name, creditredditfortruth. The whole story is in various responses. I know my stuttering was prompted by my childhood abuse. I’ll try to cut and cut and paste a recent response to another redditer. Oops, it didn’t work and I’ll have to just explain to you. I overcame my lifetime stutter, ages 5-70, through psychotherapy to address my ongoing anger a resentment from an abusive childhood. I didn’t seek therapy because of the stuttering, but through disclosure the trauma of my childhood emerged. When I was about 4 years old the behavioral of my parents changed radically towards me. Before that age I was loved and cherished. I was the first child and very precious. I was put on display because I could recite poetry and identify classical music pieces and their composers. I was under a lot of stress. They thought I was a little charm on their bracelets. At age 4-5 my eye turned outward and I began to stutter. I have no idea the connection but I did require surgery as a 4 year old. Perhaps that started my trauma. However, it was the change in how I was perceived that I remember. While I was still ‘perfect’, I was valued. After my eye turned and I began to stutter I was marginalized. Instead of encouraging me to speak and being reform, I remember my father telling me to ‘modulate’ my voice so they wouldn’t be embarrassed by my b stuttering. I was probably the only 4-year old who knew the definition of modulate! After that I became chubbier than they liked. Not really fat but not as slender as they wanted. I recognized their treatment of me changed from pride to disdain. Many other things transpired until at age 8 a male family friend began grooming me for sexual abuse. Soon after, in the presence of my parents, the man had me on his lap fondling me! Because I felt so marginalized and unworthy of love, I believed I had been sacrificed to this man because I had no value. I was scared but I thought it would do no good to tell them because they already were aware and consented. By age 12 I has to tell someone because I’d reached puberty and feared being raped, so I confided in an older babysitter who told my mother. Unexpectedly, something happened and the man vanished from my life forever. After that during my teenage years I was treated badly as well, my chubbiness was an issue ( never really far but not slim) but a further embarrassment to them. Now I’m not as a chubby teenager who stuttered. All throughout my teen years I was warned no boy would ever be interested in me. I was not worthy of even the affection of my parents. I managed through high school with all the trauma of ant other stutterer but feeling worthless to my parents as well. I did attend university, living in a dorm and amazingly a wonderful Naval officer, a 29 year old bachelor Naval officer jet pilot surprised me and my family by living and cherishing me stutter and all and went weighing 140 lbs. He swept me off my feet and proudly presented me to all his officer friends and their wives. My life had finally changed but my stuttering continued. I graduated university and didn’t need to compete in the professional realm. He provided for me during his 21 years in the Navy and earned 2 master’s degrees and after changed careers to municipal finance. We had two amazing children and enjoyed a 53-year marriage until his death last year at age 81. During our marriage I’d availed myself of both speech and psychological therapy without success. At age 69 I sought psychological therapy for a non related issue to my stuttering and in the course, my reaction to my childhood was unveiled. This therapist believed my life-long anxiety and major depression were related to my early childhood abuse. Together we deconstructed my reaction to my trauma. Within a short time I noticed I wasn’t stuttering at all. It came as a shock to me and my family. It just ended as I realized I had been traumatized as a child and recognized I’d been harboring a lifetime of anger and resentment. No amount of love and acceptance from my husband compensated for the damage of my traumatic childhood. Through dealing with the emotional cause of my stuttering and ended it! I realize not every stutterer endured childhood abuse, some stuttering is physiological such as brain injury or developmental disability, but I believe there is a definite correlation between a trauma, even a forgotten one-time event and stuttering. That’s my story. Are you willing to share yours? I hope to hear from you. Sincerely, Sue