Content
bitter ramblings. sorry. I hate my stutter with a burning passion. Hate myself because of it. My stutter has robbed me of having a decent life. People can say, “Your life could of been hard even if you didn’t have a stutter.”, which is true, but I’m not trying to hear it. Stuttering is so limiting. I can never be the person I wanted to be because of it. Talking to woman, making friends is just an entire mission. I see people my age achieving, doing what they want, going out and having fun and meeting new people, effortlessly, and it makes me bitter to my core. All life has left me with is anguish. All I can do is grit my teeth, brood, and think of all the things and experiences I’ve missed out on. All the friendships and relationships I could of had, the money I could of saved, memorable night outs and holidays with friends. I feel buried alive. I know complaining doesn’t do anything, but I just can’t stand it. I don’t want to be perfect. I’m sick and tired of being in this state of fear and being reminded everyday i’ll never reach my full potential because of this internal burden. I’ve tried to embrace it, but I just can’t. How can I embrace something I despise so much? Something that has literally ruined my life and continues to do so. I know i’ll die sad, alone and bitter. Maybe, it’s what I deserve.