Yes, life is worth the effort. Any thoughts to the contrary are self harm. First, find something that gives you joy. I clicked on your profile, and it sounds like you really enjoyed basketball in high school. Find local pick up games or join a league. It sounds like you're drowning in darkness right now. Find a source of light. Even it's only once a week, it's something to look forward to. Friends come and go. I promise you, you'll meet new people. It's worrisome that you're not planning on going back to work. I won't even pretend to understand depression. But it sounds serious. Seek help for the depression. I always advocate for speech therapy. If you feel your stutter is the big bad in your life, seek help for it. A lot of us had speech therapy in school, but I always advocate for professional speech therapy. School therapy was useless in my case. Professional therapy helped me achieve fluency. If you feel the depression is the greater problem, work on that first. You're at the bottom of the mountain, with a long climb ahead. Don't try to get there all at once. And don't feel you have to do it along. There are a lot of us who are here for you. We'll help in any way we can.