Yea having to deal with a moderate to severe stutter everyday for years upon years can really drain a person in soul/spirit kind of way. You just feel so damn tired sometimes.. You kinda lose your zest for life cause simple things just are so much of stuggle for years. I guess the only thing to do is just take things day by day. Make use your time productively, get you're health right and exercises you're mind. Don't think about the future and focus on the day. Something I learned from interviews with prisoners who get life sentences / death row.