So I'm going to echo what I'm sure you've heard 100's of times before, but with a slight twist. You need to stop worrying about it so much. I understand this is really, really hard. I understand it won't happen overnight. And I understand it seems impossible. But despite all of that, you need to work towards that end. But now for the twist. Listen, odds are you're going to live with this for the rest of your life. More important than anything else, I think you need to accept this fact right here and now. But this doesn't mean you should stop working to beat it. In fact this means the exact opposite. As stutterers, we shouldn't just accept that we stutter and become complacent. We need to accept the fight to beat it, and face it head on. We won't ever be perfect, but that's OK. Sometimes we might get embarrassed, but that's OK too. Having a defeatist attitude won't fix anything. There will always be times when we screw up, but the last thing we should in those situations is to dwell on them. 1)Acknowledge that you messed up, 2)realize that it's OK and move on to the next task. That needs to be your mindset every time you stutter. Everyone has their burden to bear, this just happens to be ours. But what defines us is not our stutter, it's how we respond to it. Plain and simple, it's a choice we have to make every time it happens. Ultimately, the thing that will help us is to respond in the right way: we have to keep talking. We all have something to say, and it's worth saying. Never forget that. To that end, find a speech therapist, practice techniques, practice breathing, and keep talking. Our stutter doesn't control us, that's bullshit. We control it, we control how we respond to it. It's never going to be easy, but few things in life are. You got this man, keep fighting, and most importantly, keep talking.