So is it the anxiety/fear/doubt creating the avoidance conflict causing our body to stop us from just saying it or our manual override, if I understand you correctly.  I actually think it's the former, not the later, because what ever stops me from just saying it I can already feel, and how ever many times I repeat, until that lifts and it just becomes like any other word, I wasn't trying to force it out, just repetition and waiting until it let's go from what I remember.