These are the same thoughts I have sometimes, especially recently! I was stuttering since I was 6 and I am now 22 and its crazy how we have almost the same experiences growing up and the same feelings about our stutter and how we don’t want it to define us. Growing up was tough and even now its tough, Today I couldn’t make an order at chik fil a by myself I had my little sister talk for me but I will not let that bring me down/ define me because it is not me and who I am! we are more than our stutters and I feel a lot of us bring so much light into the world. I am learning to love and accept myself it isnt easy but nothing great comes easy. Reading your post and other stutterers stories, It makes me feel like I’m not alone in this battle. I wish you all the best and strength to be where and who you want to be in life and I believe in you 100% if anyone can persevere anything is people like us 🙏🏼