Subconscious is a tricky thing. It’s different from your rational mind and contributes to how you automatically react to certain situations. You cannot lie to your rational mind. but your subconscious doesn’t listen to your rational mind most times , it tries to come up with its own solutions, which might manifest as freeze or flight reaction to speaking situations it perceives as scary or harmful. Only way to change your subconscious is to repeat the desired outcome over and over until it starts understanding it. If you have to lie to it achieve this, so be it