If you were truly an atheist, you wouldn't believe a god exists to hate. Assuming you were a Christian, you'd probably be more of a Satanist who hates good. IOW... Atheists don't hate "god", because they don't believe a super natural god exists to hate. So for you to say you are an atheist and hate god is contradictory. You should really be saying that 13 years of suffering made me hate the idea of a god and hence I became an atheist. Or something to that effect.