I used to be like that. There's nothing someone could tell me to make me feel better. If someone got better and was telling me their journey, I'd think they'd had it easier than I did. Motivation such as keep improving yourself one day at a time and it'll get better becomes demotivating when you haven't seen improvement for years. If you were in the same boat I was, then nothing we can say will make you feel better about the future. But I hope that you push through to the other side.