Ok I see. Maybe you've reached a breaking point. I've also had this since a child (developmental stuttering) and I think every so often there comes a time when you reach a point where you can't take it anymore and it's like the flood gates burst because you've been suppressing negative emotions for a long time, like months / years (emotional burnout is the term). Stuttering is like a constant wearing down of your spirit, especially if yours is on the moderate to severe side of the stuttering spectrum. I was in the car today and a throwback from my song collection was playing, The All-American Rejects - Move along. And when listening to the lyrics, I couldn't help but think that this song is like anthem for stutterers world wide or anyone who's dealing with constant bs like some other physical or neurological limitation. When I get to that breaking point which we all experience from time to time, I usually turn to music and become engrossed in it but if no music's avail then I turn to silence, peaceful silence where Im not thinking about anything and I'm in a peaceful/serene/quiet environment. Stillness and a quiet mind where you let go of any thoughts and let them dissipate into nothingness is meditative and freeing. Basically you're zoned out but if you're gaze gets unfocused/blurry, you refocus it on empty space somewhere in your environment. I think this practice is called fixed-point gaze meditation.