You’re not alone!!! I experience the same exact thing. I agree, times get really rough. I’ve had some bad days, same as you. Listen, I get that you don’t want to go through therapy right now, but you *really should.* And if you want it to be free, I would really suggest iGlebe. It’s this online cognitive behavioral therapy thing, and it’s done wonders for my mental health, and in turn my stutter.