Update about my suicidal thoughts because of my stutter!

Update about my suicidal thoughts because of my stutter! Hey y’all <3 Let me just start by saying that I was overwhelmed by the amount of support feedbacks and messages I got when I shared my thoughts 5 days ago... I think I am doing a bit better! I forgot to mention that I’m a 23 F. Just graduated from college and lately I’ve been finishing up some paper work for after graduating. I had to visit few ministries, a bank, scan places, and they all required talking! I hated it.. I hated myself.. I hated my stutter I felt like a “joke” taking 3-5 minutes trying to say a word, it made me feel like no one would ever take me seriously. No one made fun of me or asked me to hurry up.. actually everyone was super patient and understanding, but does anyone gets disappointed in yourself? Sometimes I wonder if they pity me or talk about how bad my stuttering was once I leave the place. And ever since all this happened, my stuttering have been getting worse and this is why I had suicidal thoughts. In the day I shared my post, I was also worried about something coming up the day after. In where I life “Middle East” people believe in arranged marriages! So as soon as the girl graduate, some families are going to call your mother or father and ask them to come and see you for their son which you’re going to sit with and chat. You can’t say no for that, but you can reject the guy as soon as the conversation is over and he leaves. (Personally I don’t like or believe in those things but there is no way I can say no for a arranged meeting with a guy) So.. I was asked to sit with the guy! All I thought about was my stutter. Even though I was already planning on saying no once he leaves, but I wasn’t easy putting myself out there and embarrass myself! My parents thought I was making a big deal out of it. It happened, and it was over.. both me and the guy said “no we can’t continue getting to know each other” my reasons were because we weren’t on the same page when we asked questions, I didn’t know his.. and I can’t help but think he probably said no because I stutter and no one would ever want to be in a relationship or marry someone who talks like I do. </3