Giving a lecture and having a conversation are very different things. I talk to my friends and family for hours about things we enjoy. All that's different is that I block for 5-15 seconds on some words with varying frequency. That's it. They've known me for years, they know full well I stutter, if they didn't want to talk to me they simply wouldn't. But no, we have fun, we talk about fun stuff, I tell jokes, we laugh, all's good. You need to get out of your head and exit this self hate spiral. I'm not going to act like no one notices a stutter, but I'm not gonna act like everyone's a massive cunt who will literally spit on you if you even so much as stutter once. Believe it or not, some people are nice and will see you as a person worth hanging out with and talking to regardless of your stutter. The key is to have an interesting personality that can surface above the stutter, and you'll have a hard time getting that if hating your stutter is all you're thinking about.