I guess i dont really think about much when I stutter with people I’m close to. They know I stutter and accept it so I don’t really care when talking to them. When it’s with people I’ve never spoken to I tend to choose words which I know I can pronounce fluently to hide my stutter. I’ve become very good at that, so good that it has gotten to the point where I basically talk fluently to people I don’t know. But as soon as I stutter once, the floodgates open and I talk like I normally would to them (i.e. with frequent stutters). People tend to not care when I stutter so I’ve kind of outgrown the shame part. Although I cannot lie, when that first stutter hits and I talk to someone I don’t know, a slight anxiety hit still hits me. This has decreased extremely though throughout the years. Some days, I tend to talk very fluently. On days where I feel good and happy, I can have very few stutters. Man those are the days. Talking just feels like driving a jetski on a wave-less ocean. No friction, no blocks, just pure conversation. I love those days. Point is, some days you will be more fluent, some days not. The true liberation comes from accepting the stutter and accepting yourself. I understand that this is not easy. There were days where I would try so hard at therapy to talk fluently. However, I slowly realised that I put myself through so much hardship in therapy. It would be more liberating to just accept my stutter and who I am. And it was. Accept and love yourself. That’s where the true liberation comes from.