That last sentence “fluent people don’t understand” is one I preach daily. People think I stray away from conversations or think I’m heavily introverted when in reality it takes so much conscious awareness on my (our) part just to deliver a word that we actually know. It legit feels like my brain is running out of juice with each speaking effort and it sucks I also sympathize with OP bc dealing with this is really rough. Hope everyone have a great speaking day tomorrow🙏