commentr/StutterDecember 24, 2023

Content

Drill & physical training (PT) actually turned out to be some of the easier things for me once I figured out how to yell correctly. Being so loud all the time destroys your throat if you don't do it right, so they teach new instructors how to yell with their diaphragms pretty early on. You could always tell which instructors never figured it out because they had this permanent raspiness in their voices, likely due to the development of polyps on their vocal cords. Anyway, turns out I don't stutter at all when speaking from my diaphragm, so oddly enough, the times where I was communicating with 500 - 800 people at a time were the easiest in regards to stuttering. It was the more personal interactions (mentoring, individual corrections, etc.) that gave me the most trouble, as weird as that may sound. I don't think my stutter improved much, if at all, as I was almost 30 when I started my MTI tour in 2015 & had worked hard over the years to figure out what helps me remain the most fluent by that point in my life. I think the experience actually helped my attitude & self-esteem the most. There were times leading up to it that I had my doubts about whether or not I could do it, but there are about 6 months of training (thus the 3.5 year tour overall) that goes into it before a new instructor is allowed to start leading flights of trainees on their own. It was up to the trainers to determine whether or not I was up to the task, so I decided early on that I was going to give my best effort & make them do their jobs. Had I gone into it with a self-defeating attitude, events would likely have unfolded very differently. It wasn't a fun experience by any means, but I'm proud of myself for pushing through & making it to the other side. I've since returned to my normal career field (cyber), transferred into the Space Force, and have just over three years until I'm eligible for retirement. I'm at a point now, almost 6 years later, that I'm excited for the future & have no doubts whatsoever that I'll be able to conquer whatever opportunities or challenges present themselves going forward.

Themes

Coping & AdvocacySchool & WorkIdentity & Disability

Subthemes

Fluency TechniquesEmployment & CareerIdentity & Self-PerceptionAcceptance & Pride