I’m sorry. That sounds like it sucks in a major, major way. It sounds like you’re in a negative feedback loop. My negative feedback loops include stress at work- ice cream after- wake up tired and feeling crappy- stressful work- hate feeling fat and tired, etc. The way I get out of my negative feedback loop is to go for a run instead of eating ice cream. It takes me about two months to really get out of it and to get into a happy fitness groove. Then I seem to get injured and it’s hard as hell to avoid the ice cream. My point- do you have an outlet for the work stress? Do you have something in your life that makes you feel happy, productive and energized? If you don’t, can you add something in as your de-stresser so you can give fewer fucks at work? Whatever it is, make it a priority so you can feel happier in general. Stress is a killer for many people’s stutter. I’m glad you posted here and I hope you get the support you need. Stuttering sucks and it’s so hard not to get stuck. Both literally and figuratively. Your doing a damn good job of being there for your brother. Kudos to you. And it sounds like overall the job is bearable. I sincerely hope that with some happiness and less stress things will get better I’m rooting for you. Please keep us updated.