>**The crap I dealt with** through middle school and into high school sucked, but looking back on who I am today **I would not have it any other way**. This is probably the bit I understand the least. Maybe it's not meant to convey specifically that you _want_ the crap, but rather that you appreciate the process of struggling through and arriving in a better place. That is much more straightforward to me. I personally see it sort of that way, I guess - that I hate the _crap_ I went through, but I'm glad it's over. I don't want to appreciate the _crap_, and I think I could've done without it. Maybe I would even be better off in that case. But that's the realm of counterfactuals, which isn't really a fruitful exercise. Maybe it's a general matter of self-acceptance or self-appreciation. If that is so, I guess I'm not entirely able to accept or appreciate myself in this regard yet. But that sort of wording feels odd to me - as if I was working against myself, when to me, clearly something in my past was just... shitty. Is this making sense?