Your post was removed as it contained self-destructive and/or suicidal ideation. In addition to that it was generally nasty and unhelpful towards others who may struggle with social anxiety. Users may be triggered by your self destructive thoughts. If you are seeking support, please reword your post/comment as our community is very supportive. Alternatively you can get help by contacting the following: United States: National Suicide Prevention Hotline -- 1-800-273-8255 Crisis Text Line -- Text Hello to 741741 YouthLine -- Text teen2teen to 839863, or call 1-877-968-8491 International List of Suicide/Crisis Hotlines: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines