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FUCK THIS EVENT Hey guys, I conquered stuttering and make videos on how I did it. There is a post on the subreddit with the explanation : [The Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stutter/comments/1iej02e/how_i_conquered_my_stutter_got_jacked_at_the_same/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) I wanted to share my motivation for starting the journey of seeking speech improvement. I think most people here would benefit for clearly outlining the WHY, because it may serve as a source of motivation (like in my case). I use the term FTE - Fuck this event. It is an experience so dreadful and depressive that you would never want to experience it again. The lowest point of your life. In most of our cases, stuttering is at the center of our FTE's. Thus, this depressive story / period of life serves as a reminder to never stop exercising our speech and looking to better our life, because by definition everything is better than doing nothing and reliving our FTE. Here is my reason: *I would describe my FTE not as a singular moment, but a cycle of repeating moments.* *In fifth grade I went on an excursion to Budapest with my school class and teacher. I visited the Hungarian Parliament, went on a boat trip across the Danube, ate some great food. All in all, a great experience! Then on the bus ride home, the teacher gave us homework and I got enveloped by a sinking feeling. I was going to have to write an essay about the trip and present it in front of class. I immediately began to worry about it, because publicly reading was a nightmarish task for me. The day came. I was sitting in my class, the essay in hand. I was waiting my turn to present and I began hyperventilating - almost shaking with fear. The teacher saw and with a kind heart, offered to read the essay for me. I accepted immediately, but I felt off for not having the confidence to read it myself.* *Alongside this experience, all throughout the better part of high school I made deals with classmates during group presentation projects. “I will make the majority of it - you present it”. I used a flimsy excuse, as well. I didn’t want to prepare, the day of presentation I was busy, etc.* *However, when I had to do a solo presentation, I always struggled. I remember once in history class I had prepared a huge poster as presentation material. The teacher helped me hold it in front of the class. I stuttered especially bad during it. I remember the stone wall expressions looking back at me. After the bell rang, I avoided eye contact with my classmates and pretended everything went great. I never commented on stuttering during that period of my life.* *Reading publicly was another fear. The last one I managed to conquer. During the early days, I remember my heart beating out of my chest with fear. I played stupid when I had the chance to avoid reading (for example avoiding saying the correct answer in class, even though I knew it way before anyone else volunteered). When I couldn’t avoid it any longer (I was always the last one to get the required 1 oral examination mark per semester), I read like a first grader. Literally, maybe 2-3 words came out of my mouth before blocking. I still remember the dead silence in the classroom and the empty stares my classmates had.* *This cycle kept repeating for 5-6 years. I frequently cried in the back seat of the car, while my dad was driving me home from school. I cried before falling asleep the majority of nights, reminiscing the cringy moments from the past month in school.* *I couldn’t imagine reliving this for the next years of university, finding a job with my stutter and dating.* *I HAD TO MAKE A CHANGE.* I am curious to hear some of your guys' reasons for looking to improve yourselves.