Totally understandable, there's a very notorious pathway of seeing adversity and disability as "inspiration" or something we overcame or something that makes us different and somehow we should love what it does to our personalities and inner strength. Honestly, that's a bunch of bs. You're allowed to hate something that makes your life significantly worse or harder. But what changed from when you were younger is not necessarily you but the environments you are in. As a kid other kids don't really care or pay attention to social norms or what should be but as school comes into play, the difference and societal perception becomes easier to succumb to. The thing that helped me is a version of body neutrality - almost like the body positivity version. Where you don't have to go from hating your stutter to loving it, because that's unrealistic. You can work on just becoming neutral to the fact it exist, not necessarily enjoying the strength that comes with it but accepting its existence, being grateful you have some version of communication even if it's not perfect and just accepting that perceptions don't define who you actually are. Don't need to love your stutter, but hating your stutter will eventually make you hate yourself