This reminds me of (I think) Chris Evans’ discussion of anxiety. That you eventually treat it like a friend. While you wrote that you couldn’t imagine having it with you the rest of your life, I totally can. Like a friend, you may have some intense time together but as you adapt and figure things out, you don’t stay in touch as often. Every once in awhile, it pops up as a reminder that I need to consistently work on it (aka consistently improve all parts of my speech). Now, I also see it as a symptom of a psychological issue. Am I taking care of myself? Am I doing the things I enjoy (including interests that involve speaking)? Etc. Explore self compassion. Living with a stutter is difficult. You’re doing the best you can. If anyone else was experiencing this, they’d have similar feelings. Try not to beat yourself up for it.