Hey, I'm also in NY, been stuttering my whole life. Because of stutering i dropped out of high school, never went to college and basically had to teach myself everything in life. I got into software because it was a skill that my speech problems could not interfere with. Nobody cares how I speak, they only care if the code i write works well. Be like water. Like streams of water on the street after it rains .. if you put something down on the ground in front of the stream, blocking it, the water will back up at first, but then it finds a new path for itself, so it can keep going. As for being unemployed, I really want to suggest that you see every single day as an opportunity to improve a skill, it can be any skill, but every day is a chance to practice a skill and get a little better. Dont let dperession or negative thoughts stop you from doing this. Think of practicing a skill everyday like breathing. We need to keep breathing, everyday, to live, and likewise practigin a skill, daily, will open doors for you, doors that lead to new opportunities. If you have skills, money (and freedom) will soon follow. I'm sorry your mom is ill, I've had a similar problem with a close family member of mine. In and out of pshych wards quite a few times. Just remember she is sick and try not be be hurt by the irrational things she says. Think of like this .. if someone you care about is really sick with the flu, and they throw up and some it get on you, of course thats totally gross, but the point is they didnt mean it. It only happened because they are really sick and not able to controll themseoves. It's the same thing with hurtful things she might say to you right now, it comes out because they are sickj and can't control themselves. So please try not to let yourself be hurt too much by what she says. She's just sick and that's why it's coming out the way it is. I am sure she really cares about you and when she gets back on track I'm sure you''ll feel that again from her.