Hi!! I think we have similar patterns, times when the stutter is not bad at all and times when it’s awful. I wish I had more concrete advice, but I just think that the constant fear of stuttering is sometimes more debilitating than the stutter itself. Right around the end of high school I decided I wouldn’t let the fear of stuttering control me anymore, and I would stop beating myself up over it. This was obviously easier said than done, but the more I pushed myself to do things I wouldn’t have done before (audition for plays, go to networking events, put myself out there friendship and dating-wise) the easier it got. So the best thing to do is jump off the deep end and start caring a little less and living a lot more! Not sure if this is helpful, but I believe in you!! ❤️❤️