I totally get it. I had a period in my life when I left school and all I felt was apathy which is so tough to feel because it's that feeling of what's the point. I had a lot of struggle with my stuttering at the time. A lot of that struggle was happening because I was trying to avoid my stuttering at all cost. Just know that things can get better and you can see a reduction in that struggle. Are you living somewhere there is stuttering support you can meet in person?. It was a big step in a positive direction for me. If its possible to talk about your stuttering more with your family and friends and explore how it makes you feel. I would recommend if you are thinking of the therapy route find a stuttering therapist that has the expertise. I don't know your back story but I wish you the best of luck.