There is the me that could have been but I'm not that person. I could never have been. This is my life. I'm the person I have had to be. Most of the things that put people off about me aren't my stutter. They are the things I do to hide it and cope long enough to finish inconsequential interactiona. I'm louder, speak fast, can interrupt. I interject when I can. Sometimes I have something great to say I wait to say it and then I can't get the words out. It's depressing but my life has an "Oh well!' shrug kind of tone to it. I really truly would not have lived into 30s if I was not as sarcastic as I am. A lot of people hate sarcasm and if they do they're gonna hate me lol At this point I'm mostly bummed about the dead end in employment. Options truly are limited and I could push to be fluent but I would be more miserable in speech therapy than I am stuttering as I'm used to. I do not have many people who aren't my family who I can relax around. I'm most like myself when I am with someone close to me. Have been called codependent and I mean I am socially impaired so I'm ok with that assessment. I won't go out and do too many exciting things in the fluent world all alone.