Why is everything about stuttering?!

Why is everything about stuttering?! I just want not to be afraid of stammering, I want that it can cause me no more harm, I just want to be free, but sadly all of these things are not coming... What do I do? I don't know. I see other people how they can communicate and stuff and it makes me ill-minded. Thoughts start coming of how much more easier lifes they lead. Is it true? I don't know. I want to believe it, but then I sink even deeper in the shit I am in. Some people don't have to face with the difficulties other people are in, that must bee nice, but is it? I want to believe it is, but when I do I sink deeper into the shit I am in. I am angry at people, because there was noone smart near me when I needed the help. There was noone with wisdom near me when I needed the loving-kindness and compassion. I am angry at people, because they didn't or couldn't help me when I needed the help. I am so angryy (crying) that all of the people who were around me were deep-rooted egoists who had no wisdom whatsoever, who had went through their lifes with considerable ease, not having to had to put forth effort in order to get free from the evils they had in their hearts. I am so angryyyy and, at the same moment, sad (crying) that all of the people who were around me were so stupified by life that they couldn't see the problems I was facing who have now turned into something much, much deeper and harder to deal with. I am angry that I was brought up by vegetables, who have no awareness whatsoever. I have no idea why I post this.