I completely understand how you feel. It seems so natural and people don't think twice about their speech. The only thing I can say is focus on the positives. I'm not sure about you, but I give more thought as to what I'm going to say since I stutter also and when I speak I want to make sure it's what I want to say. Also, dodnt focus on the past or present. The past already happened and the future is undetermined. The only thing you do know is the current time that you are experience. Hopefully my rant makes a little sense.