Awww man it hurts reading this I have a stutter, pretty bad on most words in most situations to the extent it does affect me daily I know this is easier said than done, but there needs to be a level of acceptance. An acceptance that life isn’t fair, some people get terminal cancer, some people get shot, some people don’t win the lottery, some people never get to travel the world and yes some people do indeed get a stutter Like it or not, it’s part of you, it’s part of me and it’s part of most other people on this sub! What we have to do is just make the best out of the cards we’ve dealt. Constantly looking for short term escapes, especially on drugs is a very long downward spiral. I know myself to an extent, tolerance increases, the high becomes less and you’re left feeling your only outlet is diminishing, along with fucking with your brain chemistry! I would try and separate the feelings you’re having with your stutter. Your stutter is one thing but the associated feelings vary and can change, for the better I’ll add If you try and find some outlet to give you fulfilment that’s not drugs, your confidence, approach to situations, it will all improve! It’s the feelings towards your stutter that need to change, I’m in the same boat as you but I’ve just booked a volunteering trip to go to the other side of the world with a group of strangers I won’t meet til I get there! Don’t let your stutter hold you back, gotta make the most of this life!