I can totally relate to what you’re saying. In my childhood and teenage years I had a stutter but I was confident enough to overcome it sometimes. I used to be social and had no anxiety about my stutter (except when having to say my name) I also used to ask the teachers to read in class all the time and I would do it fluently. But as I became a little older my anxiety and insecurity about my stutter kinda grew with me. In high school I had to move to another school so I was separated from my friends and I became quieter and I think that’s what boosted my anxiety. I didn’t really have close friends in school for two years. When I went to college I reunited with my old bestfriend (We’ve known each other since second grade) and those two years full of anxiety and insecurity in high school had a big impact in my life that I became waaaay more anxious about my stutter in college. I don’t attend first classes in case I’m gonna have to say my name. I don’t do presentations and skip classes where I have to do them. I didn’t try to make more friends. Always sit in the back full of fear and anxiety in case I’m gonna have to speak loudly. Although I started growing a little spark of confidence and not giving a fuck, I can’t stop having that sad and angry feeling that I’m gonna have to live in constant fear and anxiety for 8 months since my classes start next week after the summer break. Shit sucks man. Sorry if my grammar is horrible, English is not my first language :)