I completely understand a million percent! I was you. When I stuttered in front of somebody I thought about it literally all day. I’d be lying if I said I’m NEVER impacted by my speech. After so many years though I just got so sick of my speech holding me back. As I got older it held me back from jobs, pay raises etc...simply because I would avoid the jobs that required any kind of human interaction. Finally I said to myself “enough is enough”