Mate, please call a doctor or something like The Samaritans or an alternative. It's clear you're at a low point in your life, and many of us have been there. I suffer from mental health issues and considered ending my life years ago. What stopped me was the pain that it would have caused short, medium, and long term. Everyone in this world is going through something that is hurting them somewhere on whatever scale that may be. Forget about your stutter and think of yourself. Think of who you are, your future, your loved ones, the impact you hurting yourself would cause, and the hole you would leave behind. No one can or will ever replace you because you are unique as we all are in one way or another. There are people in your life that love you dearly and would be devastated if anything happened to you. I've had a stutter for 40 years, but I refuse to let it define me or control my life. Easier said than done, but you are much more than someone who stutters. Please reach out to someone, be that a friend or family member or health professional. Help is available.