I feel like its taking over me..

I feel like its taking over me.. I've been stuttering since I was young, had speech therapy when I was in grade 5-8 and became quite fluent with my speech and my speech therapist highly suggested to continue into high school but I was already made fun of for having to visit her from a few of my close friends. Fast forward I am now 21 and in my second year of college, my marks are fine I have a loving family but they don't understand what I truly go through on a day to day basis and say typical things like slow down, breathe, it could be worse. Like for fuck sakes, I wish I could just be fluent again... But I know like everyone else on this subreddit its something that can be overcome but has no cure for it. Lately, I have been extremely low, isolate myself from my friends and family and just hate talking, in general, I'm an outgoing person and it's deteriorating me, I feel like nothing is fun anymore and I'm losing interest in it all. I'm just worried for the future if I can truly keep up with everything if I cant even say my name most of the time -.- My stutter is really bad some days and im quite fluent others but just the constant thought in the back of my head is driving me insane. I try to hide it from everyone thats my issue aswell, I can never open up about it that is my golden rule I try so hard to hide it but sometimes it's hard. I just feel like giving up some but I know that I cant. Any suggestions from anyone?