commentr/StutterJune 26, 2019

Content

This is really hard situation. There's this bizarre stigma that a stutter is best ignored, or else the heavens will fall down. I know that as a covert mild PWS I'd rather die than be confronted about it - which btw has happened only once. Interestingly, that was one of the most freeing convos I've ever had. I was talking to an older gent and was stuttering obviously. He just casually said: "I see you have a stutter. " And then went on to say something unrelated. Here was one of my greatest fears, just put out on the table in plain view and suddenly, it wasn't so scary anymore. So I decided whenever I meet someone who stutters **obviously**, (not common), I try to gage them and see if they would be amenable to me just putting it out there. So I've tried it twice or thrice with mixed results. One time it was a young man I barely knew and it was fantastic and we made really good friends. The next time I did it to a young woman who I'd known for a short while and worked with. We were in a huddle and she was struggling badly -per usual. I just said "Oh Sarah, I noticed you have a stutter, I like it!" And then I smiled. I'm generally adorable but the girl looked positively mortified. She was very embarrassed and sort of ran away and it took a lot of apologies and small presents to make her come around to even speaking in front of me again- took weeks!. Her stutter was severe and debilitating. TBH I think every word was a an act of supreme courage and me calling it out like that just destroyed her confidence. So even as a person who stutters, it's very hard and a crapshoot to address the proverbial elephant in the room. Edit: I also saw someone - fluent guy- bring up a mates severe stutter. He said " I noticed you have a stutter, have you tried meditation?" I started laughing but that whole conversation set a terrible precedent for the rest of night. They got into a fight. IDK who was most to blame.

Themes

Identity & DisabilityCoping & Advocacy

Subthemes

Authenticity vs. MaskingAcceptance & PrideSelf-Advocacy & Boundaries

Codes (2)

listener_reactionperceived_judgment