Woah, that's pretty crazy dude. I sometimes wonder if the stuttering is something I have imposed on myself for some messed up psychological reason, sort of like what they are hinting at -- like if I don't for some reason want to be normal or fluent. In other words, I don't want to be the guy who hits the home run or the hero, if that makes any sense? Like maybe it's a trick that keeps me hanging on the wall away from the stage, but it's so inherent that is difficult to de-convolute or digest. There are moments when I can feel the hints of fluent speech or I can get a sense of how regular speech is for regular folk, but then there is that cloud in the mind, you know, that gets in there and keeps you with your regular patterns and habits. My mom's side has the stuttering, but my dad's side has the social anxiety (supposedly a bunch of distant relatives were severe alcoholics and wouldn't leave the house for weeks on end), so it's a nice soup I got going on. :-D I guess I don't try to worry too much about it, it's largely out of my control I feel!