I would work with a doctor before resuming medication. Anti-depressants are not to be trifled with. Have you worked with a speech pathologist who specializes in stuttering? There's no guarantees, but when a stutterer finds the right program and therapist, fluency can be achieved in many cases. If your stutter is the main reason for your depression, I suggest you do everything in your power to seek fluency. Make a list of your dreams. Big and small. Your dreams are important. Set your sights on one and pursue it. Force yourself to be outside more. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Hell, I'm basically just reflecting your own words back to you. Sunlight and fresh air are good for your mental health. Most importantly, **You are NOT a loser!** You feel like you're sinking, but you're reaching out for help. You're 22. Your life is just starting, and in your own words "everything looks good from the outside." That tells me that you make good decisions most days, despite the burden that you bear. Please be kind to yourself. You deserve as much (or more) kindness as you would offer to anyone else.