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I feel cursed and helpless There is not a single day that I don't think about my condition and how it makes my life so miserable. Everything started when I was a little kid, a different kid that didn't fit the standards and got bullied and humiliated because of that. I thought my parents could help me, I thought they could provide me support, but I was wrong. My mom always yelled at me when I stuttered, and my dad couldn't keep a straight face when I struggled to talk, he always laughed at me. There was no one that could understand me and provide me support. I was alone. Now I'm a traumatized adult that can't keep a conversation for more than 1 minute, let alone form bonds. I can't talk to people, I don't wanna talk to them. I feel alone, and tired. I can't think of a way to get out of this misery. I tried so many things. To be very honest, I don't wanna live anymore. I know it sounds victimist, but I feel punished by God, I feel cursed to carry that burden for the rest of my pathetic life. I don't have friends, girlfriend and I don't wanna start college bc I'm too scared of people. I only have a job that sucks my soul because I can't talk to people properly, I have to deal with this shit every fucking day. I'm so done with living. I don't want to take a tragic route, I'll try I few more things, I just wanted to vent about how fucking sad I am right now.