Fellow stutterers who have managed to accept/make peace with your stuttering, what has your journey been like?

Fellow stutterers who have managed to accept/make peace with your stuttering, what has your journey been like? I'm 25. I've stuttered for most of my life. I have never even come close to being able to accept my stuttering. I despise it, and am not even able of envisioning a desirable future in which my stuttering persists. I just can't come to terms with it. It took me 3 years into my relationship with my ex to first open up about stuttering, and even when I did, it wasn't some cathartic moment of release as much as it became the damnation of our relationship. She embraced and accepted me, but I started to emotionally withdraw thereafter and eventually dumped her. I have a mild-to-moderate stutter. It used to be way worse. If someone ever brings it up, I feign a no-fucks-given attitude because I can't let other people ever see me sweat, even though it kills me inside. I wholeheartedly believe that the only way I can ever accept myself is if I overcome it. I have switched my entire career path into Neuropsychology in the attempt to find my cure. I've awaited my Road to Damascus moment my entire life, but I am still slow to realizing that the probability of that is slim to none. I know I'm on the wrong path, but I'm on autopilot. I have long forgotten what loving myself even feels like. My empathy towards myself is non-existent. I have studied extensively. I have meddled with psychedelics. All I can ever muster are trickles of self-realization and acceptance that go away even faster than they arrive. Please share your experiences. What helped you overcome your self-hatred? How has that transition been?