I had to go through a lot of hardships like that. Worked at a factory and as a delivery guy for years, even though I had a BA. Finally decided to go on the web-dev route and achieved it at the age of 35. Say you're my younger self, here's what I would say: Keep your body in check by working out and such, learn exactly what you're aiming at and not something like BA in history, do read at loud, do practice your name in front of the mirror, do expose your self and your vulnerabilities. All in the belief you'll get better. Believe. And I'm saying it as a long time atheist who wishes he would still have faith in god. Workout and aim exactly at a target. I stutter in the daily meeting. I stutter on dates. I stutter on the telephone. Sucks, and sometimes depressive. But when it is in the context of me trying to get somewhere - I can endure a lot, and I'm sure you too.